


Troubled waters

by wolfypuppypiles



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Alec, Brothers, Comfort, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Guilt, Hugs, Parabatai, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 14:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11853396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfypuppypiles/pseuds/wolfypuppypiles
Summary: Written for a prompt sent to me on tumblr"Was wondering if you could write a little jalec brotherly love type fic for the rooftop scene when Alec finds Jace crying after clary yells at him to feel something"Yes I can!





	Troubled waters

Alec could feel something through the parabatai bond but it was like a ripple in a wave; and you can’t disturb already troubled waters. 

Jace was rarely calm, and although he liked to think he was an emotionless soldier, the reality was that usually he had too many emotions and held them in till they spilled out or he drowned. 

For the past few days he’d been drowning, and Alec had been so preoccupied with everything going on he’d forgotten that Jace could only be saved if you dragged him out of the water yourself. 

So, when he went to meet him on the roof and Jace didn’t say anything, Alec knew something was wrong. 

“Jace, you okay?”

He turned, and those eyes, they were so full of sadness that Alec couldn’t say anything else. He simply opened his arms and held his parabatai, allowing him to cry into his shoulder. 

It was long overdue, and Jace cried for a long time. For everything he’d lost, for everything he’d done. For all the people that had lost someone because of him. 

He hated feeling weak, it had always been drilled into him that emotions were weakness and that to be weak was to be a bad shadowhunter. But he couldn’t hold it in anymore, and maybe Clary was right, maybe emotions did serve a purpose. 

Alec held the back of his head, holding him close as he whispered reassurances to him. 

“You’re okay, I got you.”

Jace’s voice was strangled, warped by his tears like an old tape, and he hated the way it sounded, but he hated the guilt more. 

“I killed so many people. I thought I was saving them, I thought I was going to die for them.”

But Alec’s voice was resolute, and he was rarely wrong about anything. “It wasn’t your fault. Valentine killed those people, and we’re going to stop him.”

Another sob forced its way up Jace’s throat, and his arms tightened around Alec. “I’m so sorry.” 

Alec closed his eyes, wishing he could take the pain away. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s okay, Jace. You’re allowed to feel, but you dont deserve to feel guilty.”

It took a while for him to calm down, and when he did he felt ten pounds lighter, as if the guilt he’d held in his chest had been weights tied around his lungs; now that they were lifted he could finally breathe. He wiped his face with a hand and laughed a little. 

“Sorry, I cried all over you.We still have to meet everyone and talk about the plans dont we? Ugh, is my face all red?”

Alec made a face, and rubbed a hand over his brothers hair. “Yeah, but if you want we can tell them we were sparring and I punched you in the face?”

Jace shoved the other boy away as they both laughed. “No one will believe that. You never win our matches.”

Alec wrapped an arm around his shoulders as they went to meet the others, and although he knew Jace was still hurting, and still dealing with everything that happened, he could feel the waters through their bond and he knew everything would be okay. The waters weren’t calm, because they never were, but Jace was no longer keeping it in, and he wasn’t trying to swim it alone anymore. 

As long as Alec was alive, he would always be there for his brother, and he would dive in and pull him out as many times as he needed. Because he knew that Jace would do the same.


End file.
